Posted by EXT. CLAPHAM COMMON. DAY
The Tardis materialises and The Doctor bursts out, followed slightly less enthusiastically by Amy & Rory.
DOCTOR
London! 1987! The year of The Joshua Tree! Reagan tells Gorby to tear down the wall! The Simpsons are born! And so…
He whirls around to point a finger at Amy -
…are you.
RORY
Is that why we’re here?
DOCTOR
No! Course not, we’re here to see one of the greatest rock & roll bands of the 20th Century!
AMY
U2!?
DOCTOR
No.
RORY
The Rolling Stones?
DOCTOR
No.
AMY
Led Zeppelin!
DOCTOR
No!
RORY
The Who!?
DOCTOR
No!!
Amy & Rory look blank.
DOCTOR
Only one of the biggest selling Australian artists of all time!
RORY
Rolf Harris?
DOCTOR
INXS!
Amy & Rory look blanker.
DOCTOR
Well, perhaps they were a bit before your time and their star did burn very brightly but very briefly - outside Australia at any rate – but still, well worth seeing!
The Doctor strides off toward the distant stage rubbing his hands, Amy & Rory dawdling behind.
DOCTOR
This band are at their peak - ‘Need You Tonight’, ‘New Sensation’ - and their leader, Michael Hutchence – what a showman! – little bit of Jagger, little bit of Morrison, but more seductive than either, the definitive rock frontman (so of course it all ended a bit messily - adultery, suicide, etc – but don’t let that put you off.) We are going to see the great man in his prime!
RORY
Erm, Doctor?
Rory & Amy are standing beside a poster on a tree. Rory is pointing at the date. The Doctor strides up and scrutinises the poster intently.
DOCTOR
‘Saturday 11th June 2011′? It can’t be -
His attention is drawn to a young man strolling by, talking on an iPhone.
- but it obviously is.
AMY
So? They’re just a bit older. What’s the combined age of The Rolling Stones now? 910?
The Doctor slumps against the tree.
DOCTOR
But would you see The Rolling Stones without Mick Jagger?
AMY
Course not. It wouldn’t be The Rolling Stones.
DOCTOR
No. And this isn’t INXS.
The Doctor slowly levers himself off the tree and begins to stumble, dejectedly, back toward the Tardis.
DOCTOR
Michael Hutchence died in 1997 and his band haven’t had anything even remotely approaching a hit since - oh, as a celebration of his music I’m sure this will be acceptable (even sung by the Canadian gentlemen they selected through a worldwide reality telly show) but to headline like this, in front of tens of thousands? Well….It’s like The Doors opening Live Aid with Gareth Gates.
AMY
Who?
DOCTOR
Exactly! C’mon, let’s go find the real thing…
The Doctor follows his companions into the Tardis, slams the door and bounds up to the console.
…and to wing us on our way, Amy & Rory, I give you…
He flicks a switch.
IN!X!S!
Amy whoops and pulls Rory into an impromptu boogie. The Doctor laughs as the Tardis bursts into life and dematerialises, the voice of Michael Hutchence fading into the stars.
FADE TO BLACK.