Barack Obama – in case you’re currently groping through an empty hospital in some Day of The Triffids parallel universe – has just become the next President of The United States (if you’re reading this some weeks later and he’s since been popped in the back of the head by a posse of psycho-cracker triple K nutjobs, then accept my apologies for the inaccuracy, and my condolences for your loss, you nation of three time losers – JFK, MLK, and now BO. You just don’t know when you’ve got it good do you, you pathologically retarded sadsacks)